I MADE IT INTO A BOSTON PEOPLE PHOTOGRAPHY COLLAGE--BUT I HATE HOW I LOOK

Sometime in June, I was stopped on the streets and asked by a photographer if he could take my photo. The photo appeared on his photo journal and on facebook with the caption "African Queen in a concrete jungle", which was I had entitled myself. Why I loved th epicure and it had a lot of positive reviews, I hate the fat on my body that obscures my beautify....in that picture I was 280lbs, today I am 297 lbs. I am 3 lbs away from 300 and morbidly morbidly obese. My lowest weight before moving to boston was 216 lbs. Upon moving to boston I was 236. In a year I have gained about 60lbs. I am sad, I am angry, and for some reason I just can't seem to get on track. But I believe accountability is the only way to get it done.

Next week's goal weight will be to be 295. I am restarting this journey again, and I am determined to surpass my lowest weight before Boston and never come back to this place gain.

MUSIC MAKES YOU LOSE CONTROL

REALITY CHECK

So I just realized that I haven't been on this blog in 4 MONTHS...

Why? Because I've been to ashamed to face my audience...I have disappointed you and myself and for that I am truly remorseful.

SO WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS?

Eating, Eating, Eating and Gaining all the weight in the world plus more. 

My highest weight since I moved to Boston: 280

Current Weight: 274.6

Beginning Weight When I first moved here: 233.0

So we are talking about a 47 lb weight gain, in 8 months...It is embarrassing...

So why am I back?

Because I am truly unhappy with myself and how much I have let myself go. My highest weight ever I found out after looking at medical records was 340 lbs, I lost 120 and was down to 220, and a size 12. I have now gained 60lbs of the weight I lost since April 2012, and I am truly unhappy.

BUT I AM DETERMINED..

So whats going to make this time any different?

Simply because I will not allow myself any more chances for fuck ups.

My health is at risk, I fear my diabetes will come back, I'm unhappy about my fitness level, and I'm truly unhappy about the type of foods that I am putting in my body. I have become too comfortable..

SO LETS GET UNCOMFORTABLE...

What does that mean:

12-16 glasses of water a day

5 days of exercising (boxing, or running)

1200-1500 calories a day

Less bingeing more exercising...

I no longer have time to think about it, its do or die...Either I exercise, stay fit, and lose this weight, Or I stay fat, complacent, have an early death and drown in my misery....

Today is Tuesday May 14th...Next Tuesday's Goal is to be 270 lbs (Thats a 4lb weight loss...lofty..I know, but I know that my body will drop the weight because I am shocking it out of laziness).

This blog will be both my diary and my testimony....It is OKAY to fall...I'm just tired of Falling and I'm ready to get back up....

WEEKLY WEIGHT UPDATE

Good Morning and Happy Tuesday!!!!

Last Saturday I weighed in at 268.0 lbs
Today I am 258.0 lbs

Classes have begun for me, which means planning my meals in advance, working out regularly and playing a much better health/scholastic balancing act than I did last semester.

My Goal is to be at 249 by February 7th...Thats about a 9lbs weight loss.

Next weeks goal is to be 256 lbs