MUSIC MAKES YOU LOSE CONTROL

REALITY CHECK

So I just realized that I haven't been on this blog in 4 MONTHS...

Why? Because I've been to ashamed to face my audience...I have disappointed you and myself and for that I am truly remorseful.

SO WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS?

Eating, Eating, Eating and Gaining all the weight in the world plus more. 

My highest weight since I moved to Boston: 280

Current Weight: 274.6

Beginning Weight When I first moved here: 233.0

So we are talking about a 47 lb weight gain, in 8 months...It is embarrassing...

So why am I back?

Because I am truly unhappy with myself and how much I have let myself go. My highest weight ever I found out after looking at medical records was 340 lbs, I lost 120 and was down to 220, and a size 12. I have now gained 60lbs of the weight I lost since April 2012, and I am truly unhappy.

BUT I AM DETERMINED..

So whats going to make this time any different?

Simply because I will not allow myself any more chances for fuck ups.

My health is at risk, I fear my diabetes will come back, I'm unhappy about my fitness level, and I'm truly unhappy about the type of foods that I am putting in my body. I have become too comfortable..

SO LETS GET UNCOMFORTABLE...

What does that mean:

12-16 glasses of water a day

5 days of exercising (boxing, or running)

1200-1500 calories a day

Less bingeing more exercising...

I no longer have time to think about it, its do or die...Either I exercise, stay fit, and lose this weight, Or I stay fat, complacent, have an early death and drown in my misery....

Today is Tuesday May 14th...Next Tuesday's Goal is to be 270 lbs (Thats a 4lb weight loss...lofty..I know, but I know that my body will drop the weight because I am shocking it out of laziness).

This blog will be both my diary and my testimony....It is OKAY to fall...I'm just tired of Falling and I'm ready to get back up....